Steve Likes Socks, Pancakes, Crepes, and Cheeseburgers

   Holy cow!  I have no topic!  I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to talk about now.  Not one single, solitary idea.  Guess it’s business as usual then, huh?  I wish I could find topics easier, but topics are so elusive.  They’re like clouds.  They look solid and defined until you get up close.  Then they go poof and laugh at you.  I hates their guts.  Why am I talking about ideas as though they are sentient beings?  I must be having a nervous breakdown.  Don’t anybody even think about saying that’s business as usual too.
   Ahem, anyway.  Let’s talk about socks.  Yes, I did just say socks.  If you think that there is nothing to say about socks, you are very wrong.  Socks are deep and in depth things.  They have this whole level of understanding most people can’t even imagine.  Not to mention they keep your feet warm.  Now that is a very important thing.  Cold feet are no good in any situation.  Just ask, uh, some famous dude who got cold feet and missed his opportune moment that would have made his world perfect.  His name will live on in infamy, just don’t ask me what it is.  I digress.  I was talking about socks and their great depths and handiness.  I do love a good pair of socks.  We need socks.  Without socks our feet would be much less comfortable.  Now that would be a tragedy, because I like having comfortable feet.  Uncomfortable feet are, how should I say, uncomfortable.  Socks make feet comfortable.  That is good.  Socks are good.  Oh yeah, they have this whole level of understanding beyond our imagination, did I mention that?  I did?  Okay good.  Don’t forget that and don’t ask how I know, because if you forget I won’t repeat myself and if you ask I won’t answer.
   Now forget socks, we’ve got more important things to get to.  Like pancakes!  Pancakes are tasty.  Very tasty.  But first you must spread them lavishly with butter and pour on the syrup.  Lotsa butter, lotsa syrup, lotsa pancakes.  Tastes just like candy!  But don’t add any alcohol.  That would be dangerous.  Unless you also had crepes with you.  The awesomeness of the crepes would cancel out the effect of the alcohol because it is simply not awesome enough.  Because crepes are extremely awesome, not to mention really tasty.  I would not advise anyone to try to spike a crepe.  It would only end badly.  For you, not the crepe for the crepe eater.  Crepes are too awesome to get spiked.  Spiking a crepe is like…like…like spiking an already spiked thing.  It simply adds to what’s already there.  In a crepes case, sheer awesomeness.  And you can’t really add to that.
   But there are things that are just as awesome as crepes, if not more so.  My dog is one.  My caterpillar is another.  Did I ever tell you about my caterpillar?  Oh, no, I suppose I couldn’t have seeing as how I just got him for Christmas.  Well, his name is Steve, he is a caterpillar, and he is awesome.  In fact, Steve is so super epic, I just might have to give him a whole blog post to himself sometime.  Now I’m not making any promises, but you might see more of Steve later.  Maybe.  If I can think of his life story for you.  All I got right now is that Steve likes socks, pancakes, crepes, and cheeseburgers.  That is quite possibly enough, but not really...so we must move on.
   Now that Christmas is over, there is only New Years to look forward to.  Once that is gone…life will be bland again.  The days will be so boring, so similar.  Each day almost an exact replica of the previous one.  How will I survive!?
   Aha!  I have the solution!  I will open a chain of cheeseburger restaurants!  I shall call it, Bob’s Burgers & Fred’s Fries!  Let’s do this thing!

  P.S.  I now find that I wrote this post to early...New Years is over...time for the cheeseburgers!  I hope you will all come a visit once we open up.