Spiders and Twigs

   Howdy.
   Owen Tucker.  That’s me.  I have returned.  Again.  Whether you’re tired of me or not.  And I’ll come back, week after week, haunting you.  You’ll never be able to get rid of me.  With this whole “talk to animals with a rock” thing, the possibilities are endless.  Who knows?  I might stumble across a twig next that gives me teleportation powers.  Dang.  Now that I’m thinking about it, that’d be pretty sweet.  I hope that happens. 
   Whether it does or doesn’t, the show must go on.  So here’s the journal part.
   6/21/12:  On this date (that being the 6th of June in the year 2012) I was listening in on the conversation of two spiders.  It went like this.
   Spider 1: “Hey dude, how’s it going?”
   Spider 2: “Oh not bad.  How’d you do today?”
   Spider 1: “I did awesome!  Caught about twenty humans in my webs.”
   Spider 2:  “Sweet!  I only got around ten, but the funny thing was that after one ran through a web, the others followed right after and got some of it too.  Hilarious!”
   Spider 1: “Nice one!  High eight!”
   Spider 2: “Haha.  Humans are so entertaining.”
   Spider 1:  “Tell me about it.  Just last night one of them went through a web and she freaked out.  Complete with screaming and the panic dance.”
   Then my mom came into the room, so I had to kill them before the panic dance ensued.  That was something I most definitely didn’t want to see.  It probably would’ve given me nightmares.  With the spiders gone and all, the room got pretty boring, so I went outside for a walk.  It was entertaining just to listen to the barking dogs along the way.  They said a lot of different stuff.  Here’s a sample.
   “My house!  Get away!  Mine mine mine!”
   “Evil human!  Must kill!  Ggggrrrr!  Diediediediedie!”
   “No!  Don’t go!  Stop walking!  Come play!  Plleeeeeeeeaaaaaassseeeeeeeee!”
   Then there was one other one.  But his owner was that one guy, so he barked stuff that I am unable to repeat here.
   After I walked a ways away from the doggies, kinda more out into the wilderness (aka, place with lotsa trees) a bunny rabbit came hopping up and stopped right in front of me.  I stared at him, and he stared at me.  Then he sat up and held out a twig toward me with his front paws.  I reached down and took it and he hopped away.  All without saying a single word.  Twig in hand, I continued my walk. 
   Who knows what kind of power this bad boy could have?  Maybe I can, like, talk to trees now.  It is a twig after all.  I walked up to a tree and stared at it.
   “Hey,” I said.
   The tree said nothing.
   I shrugged and went back to walking.  If the trees wanna be stuck up, let ‘em.  See if I care.  Then a squirrel came flying out of nowhere, snagged the twig right out of my hand, and disappeared into the underbrush.  That little blighter!  The twig might have contained untold powers!  It could have been amazing.  It was, after all, a twig.  I sighed.  Oh well.  Maybe next time I take a walk an armadillo will come up and give me a piece of bark.  It’d be better than nothing.

   To be continued…sometime in the future…