Video Games

     Today’s random subject is—drum roll please—video games!  Y’know, I used to play video games.  Then I took an arrow to the knee.  You might ask how that prevents me from playing.  The obvious answer is that with my now bad knee, I can no longer handle all the strenuous movement and such that is involved with hardcore gaming.  Light gaming you say?  That’s even worse.  I’m afraid my knee just can’t take it now. 
     Y’know I got to level 879 in WoW (that’s Waldo’s of Washington for you non-gamers out there).  Now I’m sure you’re just sitting there, staring at the screen with your mouth gaping open, thinking “No way!  There is no level 879!”  Well let me tell you, there most certainly is.  You just have to have supreme skillz, such as mine.  I would’ve made it to an even 1000 if I hadn’t had that unfortunate accident with the arrow and all.  Most inconvenient timing there.  I mean, 879?  Why couldn’t I have taken that arrow when I was level 880?  At least then it’d be an even number.  Although 900 would have been preferable.
      Ah, those were the days.  Not many out there could compete with me.  Not only was I an amazing gamer in every aspect, but I was also the best athlete around.  I was a pro at baseball, bowling, tennis, boxing, and even golf.  I had to play hard at those practices to get there though.  Practice makes perfect and all that. 
     But enough talk about the good old days.  I’ve heard a newfangled game that just came out that supposed to be super amazing.  It had a funny name though.  Pokemon?  Yeah, that’s it.  Pokemon.  Except there’s supposed to be one of those little accent mark thingies over the “e” in the middle there.  Oh hey, would you look at that?  Spell check actually fixes that.  Man!  This game just came out here and already the spell checks know its name.  It must be huge.  I hear it’s got these little creatures called Pokémon (I used the spell check version that time, if you’ll notice) and you play as some kind of trainer who runs around catching the Pokémon.  Then you level them up by beating the crap out of other cute little Pokémon.  When it’s all said and done, whichever cute creature smashes the hardest wins.  It’s so adorable to watch.  I guess that’s why people like it so much. 
     There’s this one little guy named Pikachu.  He’s like a little, yellow rat with red dots for cheeks and electrical powers.  What he does is he says “Pika pika!” and then fries his opponent (probably some cute little roly-poly) with a lightning bolt.  All in good fun, of course.  And don’t worry.  None of the Pokémon get hurt.  They only slam on each other until one passes out.  Then they say “I win!” and rob the person they just beat before going on their merry way.
     So obviously the gaming world has changed some since I was around.  In other words, it’s not as awesome.  Kids these days.  They’re satisfied with just anything you give them, so long as it sparkles good and bright.  Pft.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go—do something that doesn’t require the use of my arrow wounded leg.