Weddings, Dishes, and Other Stuff Too!

   Weddings?  I love weddings!  Drinks all around!
   If you don’t recognize that quote, you are a poor, deprived person, for it is from one of the most awesome movies ever.  Otherwise known as Pirates of the Caribbean:  Curse…of the Black Pearl.  That dramatic pause isn’t actually in the title, I just thought it sounded cooler that way. 
   Anyway!  We’re not really talking about weddings this time.  We’re actually talking dishes.  Or rather, washing them. 
   *Cue dramatically awesome and super creepy music*
   That’s right.  Washing dishes.  I myself believe the most efficient way is putting them in the dishwasher. Ever wondered how the dishwasher got its name?  Well I’ll tell you.  It was named the dishwasher because…wait for it…it washes dishes.
   *Cue music again*
   I know, that’s pretty unbelievable, right?  I mean, who gives anything a literal name these days?  Everything has to have a hidden meaning or something.  But not dishwashers.  I guess they’re too awesome to need a hidden meaning. 
   So, if you need to wash dishes, put them in the dishwasher.  Problem solved. 
   Hm?  What if you don’t have a dishwasher?  Then, my friend, you have a serious problem.  That would mean that you have to, oh dear, wash those dishes by hand.
   *Cue music, swell to new heights*
   You are in trouble.  Big doo-doo dis time.  Have you ever tried washing dishes by hand?  A few pots and pans, now that’s kinda okay.  It won’t kill you for sure.  But if you have to do all the dishes by hand, that’s a whole different story.  All that silverware…what about the knives?  It could get real dangerous.  Then if you accidently drop one…  You probably won’t laugh, but everyone around you will.  Not quite at you.  More like at the dance of panic you do trying to get your feet out of the way.  In the end the knife’ll probably still hit your foot.  With the handle, if you’re lucky.  If you’re not, I’m sorry for you.  You should get a dishwasher.
That brings about an interesting issue.  What did people do back when they couldn’t just go buy a dishwasher?  How could they survive?  No dishwashers…it must have been terrible.  You know what had to been even worse?  The knights in shining armor when they first went up against a dude who had invented gunpowder.  They’d be all like, “Haha!  We are invincible!  Ye pathetic knaves cannot hope to pierce our armor!”  And the gunpowder dude is just like “Bang!” Obviously that’s the end of the contest.  And the end of the knights, too.  Poor suckers.  Guess they’re doomed to staying at home and washing dishes now.  Except for the one who got shot.  He ain’t gonna be washing dishes ever again.  Well, at least, I don’t think he will.  But who knows?  Washing dishes is so terrible, it may be used as a punishment everywhere. 
   Wow, who knew dish washing could lead to such interesting discussion.  I would love to expound upon it more, like how dishes will be washed in the future, or even if they’ll be washed in the future, but now I must go.  I have things to do, people to save, and more things to do!  Have a most wunnerful Monday.  Or whatever day you’re reading this on.