Hitler

   Whoa!  Cool!  Did you know that in 1999 some weird scientist dudes cloned Hitler’s bones and created an army of bone Hitlers?  Who knew, right?  The government did this huge cover-up and nobody was ever the wiser.  Till now of course.  Now I’m telling you, so you know, and you can tell your friends, so they know, then they can tell their friends so those people know, and it just goes on until the whole world knows.  Then everyone will be out Hitler hunting.  They might even make it a national holiday that develops into a worldwide event that eventually becomes the biggest holiday of the year!  It’ll spawn a mass of video games, movies, books, even children toys.  Hitler’s bones will become way better known then he ever was throughout his entire life.
   Okay, so you’re probably wondering where that whole thing in the above paragraph came from.  Well, I couldn’t tell you if you asked.  My thought process went something like this.
   “Hhhhmmm…1999…clones…Hitler…bones…cool.”
   So yeah, that’s how my mind works.  I should actually read up on Hitler so that I can more effectively make fun of him.  It’s so much fun.  I do love a good Hitler/Nazi joke.  One time I went around the house clicking my heels together and shouting “Hi Hitler!”  Don’t think my parents appreciated that.  But it was fun while it lasted.
   Hm.  Maybe my current interest in Hitler comes from the nearing of July 4th.  At the approach of that great day of independence, my mind, being the way it is, thinks of Hitler.  It’s a blessing, and a curse.  My mind that is.
   Getting back to Hitler, I hear that in the end, he killed himself.  But, of course, you know that’s not what really happened, right?  It’s common knowledge that the aliens abducted him, made sure he was completely crazy, then sent him as a gift to their biggest enemy.  Which resulted in a huge alien war, the repercussions we are experiencing through the refugees (Obama, Lady Gaga, those kind of people).  So if them darned aliens would just keep their business to themselves, we wouldn’t have all these problems.  Geez. 
   Before the aliens got him though, Hitler was known to create a genetically altered race of Nazis that he sent out to infiltrate the American society.  They came among us under the guise of immigrants and ingrained themselves into our culture.  Now they lurk behind every corner, hide under every rock.  They observe everything that’s anything on the internet, and everything else besides that too.  They watch your mail, read your strike signs, check your checks.  And if they find anything, they scream bloody murder and fix it, even if you don’t ask them to.  In fact, probably because you don’t ask them to.  Then they yell at you and tell you to watch yourself or they’ll come for you again.  Generally at some point during the discourse they also make very sure that you know exactly who they are.  Who might that be?
   They are the Grammar Nazis.