Reasonably Unreasonable

   (When we last left Fred, he and Anthony had just witnessed Alexander take out the PEANUT HQ single handedly)

   Suddenly, a voice boomed out. 
   “You have incurred the wrath of the PEANUTs!  You shall now die!”
   “Oh yeah?” Fred yelled back. “Just try it.  Alexander can whoop the lot of you!  With his eyes closed!”
   The voice chuckled. “But not if he is in fear of his life.”
   “Alexander isn’t afraid of anything,” Anthony yelled.
   “Except for…” the voice paused dramatically. “Slugs!”
   Fred and Anthony looked at each other, then busted up laughing.
   “Slugs?” Fred asked, when he had regained his breath. “Seriously?  He can eat bullets, he’s not afraid of slugs.”
   “A demonstration then,” the voice said.
   A slug came flying out of nowhere and landed on Alexander’s nose, and Alexander freaked.  He started jumping around and making weird yelping noises. 
   “It’s just a slug, Alexander!” Fred berated him.
   Alexander didn’t care.  After a few seconds, he managed to flick the thing off his nose and then went to hide behind Fred and Anthony.
   “See?” the voice gloated.
   “That doesn’t make any sense,” Fred protested.
   “Well neither does an invincible alligator!” The voice’s cool broke, along with his, er, voice. “An invincible alligator is impossible!”
   “Yeah?  Well I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation.”
   “There is no possible reasonable explanation.  Just like there’s no reasonable explanation for his fear of slugs!”
   Fred thought for a second, then his eyes lit up. “Maybe he was experimented on by aliens!”
   The voice snorted.
   “No really,” Fred continued. “And they used slugs on him, so now he’s deathly afraid of them.”
   “There are no aliens!” the voice practically screamed, losing all calm. “It is statistically impossible for there to be other life in the universe!”
   “Well it’s statistically and reasonably impossible for there to be an invincible alligator.  What do you have to say to that?”
   The voice spluttered for a minute, then regained some composure. “Be all that as it may.  It still stands that your invincible alligator is afraid of my slugs, and therefore you are now my prisoners.  If you resist, the alligator will be tortured by his greatest fear, and you both will be killed.”
   “I’ll die before I give in to terrorists!”
   “Yeah!” Anthony added. “Me too!”
   “Very well.”
   A bunch of armed men came tromping in through all the doors, guns in one hand, slugs in the other.  Alexander cowered beneath Fred’s legs.
   Fred’s hands shot up. “Wait!  I changed my mind.  I surrender!”
   Anthony’s hands joined Fred’s in the air. “Yeah.  Me too.”
   The voice chuckled. “I thought you might.  Take them away!”
   As the men lead them away, Fred whispered to his friends, “Remember guys, tis better to surrender cowardly and hope for rescue, then tis to die a horrible, terrible, awful death for nothing.”
   Anthony frowned. “Who said that?”
   Fred gulped as one of the men jabbed him in the back with a gun. “I did.  Just now.”
   Anthony looked up at the ceiling. “We’re doomed.”
   Alexander whimpered in agreement.

   To be continued…