Dave!

   Note from Owen Tucker:  Things are about to get going around here.  So hold onto your socks.  Or whatever piece of clothing you feel like holding onto at the moment.

   The first adventure of our daring assembly began as soon as we set foot back into Howard.  Arrayed around the doorway to greet us were a whole bunch of scary looking dudes all dressed in black.  I stopped dead and gaped at them as soon as I saw then, but Dan, who came in right behind, let out a yell and jumped right into the middle of them.  Let’s just say things escalated from there.
   Bangs!  Booms!  Explosions!  Mini Hiroshima’s all over the place!  Ben flew out from somewhere and landed on about ten of the guys.  The kids were beating a couple of the other ones with coconuts.  Wilfred was, well, I’m sure he was doing something. 
   Then there was this extra big balooy and Howard flipped.  Literally.  The house went upside down and turned the whole thing into a zero-gravity Inception-hotel-fight-scene.  That didn’t faze the battling one single bit.  They all just went right on laying into each other.  And I floated serenely through it all.  Until I got bored.  Which was after about five seconds.
   “Hey, Dave,” I said.
   Yes?
   “When were you planning on ending this?”
   I’m only waiting for you to give me the word.
   “Oh, well, in that case.  Word.”
   At that, there was a really, really, really, really bright flash of light. It was pretty doggone bright, let me tell you.  And when it faded, Howard was right side up, and the fighting was over.  Because all the dudes in black were unconscious on the floor.
   Show off.
   Thank you.
   Dan gave himself a shake, which thoroughly rattled his armor. “That was a most enjoyable little tussle.”
   Ben yawned and sat on his haunches. “I rather agree with the strange gent.”
   “I’m glad you all enjoyed,” I said. “But do any of you know who they were?”
   I was met with blank stares.
   That, Mr. Owen, was the League of Ninjas.  Just their scouts, though.  The very least experienced.
   You talk far too much, Poncho.
   The very fact that you think so, Dave, makes me think the very opposite.
    “All right, all right.  Break it up.  I’ve had enough of you two arguing, gosh.  Just tell me why this League is after me already.”
   Isn’t it obvious?  They want me.
   “You?  Really?  You are freakin’ annoying, why would anyone actually send forces after you?”
   Because I was the height of the League.  When they created me, none could stand against them.
   Ha!  Likely story.  All the good guys had to do was create me, and I whooped your butt in a heartbeat.
   Only because I was wielded by an imbecile!
   And times have changed how?
   “Hey!”
   No offense.
   “I think I’ll take offense, thank you very much.”
   You’re welcome.  But the point is, so long as I’m here, the League ain’t got nuthin’ that can do anything.
   “Is that right, Dave?”
   Hm?  Oh, yes, of course.  If it helps you sleep at night.
   “Dave!”
   You can’t expect me to betray the secrets of my creators, can you?
   “Yes, actually.  That’s exactly what I expect you to do.”
   You’re a cold boy, Owen.
   “Just icy.  Now get talking.”

   To be continued.