Life, Death, Cake

   So.  Life.
   Man, do I really have to talk about that?  It just seems so…serious.  And boring.  And serious.  And not fun.  And serious.  And really boring.  Do you get what I’m trying to say here?  Come on.  What is life?  That stage of living after the glorious days of carefree childhood, that’s what.  You “grow up”, get a life (aka, job/career/thingthatbringsinthechaching), get married, have kids, watch as those kids repeat all the stupid mistakes you made at their age, grow old, and die.  If you’re one of those people who aren’t for the marriage bit, here’s what your life is.  Same “grow up” phase, then you substitute everything else for partying till you pass out, and still end with dying, except in your case it’s by drunk driver (aka, yourself).
   Bam!  Life in a nutshell.  And you are totally free to disagree with me.  I do it all the time.  I probably wouldn’t be alive right now, writing this post, if I agreed with myself.  Because if that was the case, any time a stupid idea occurred to me, I would put it into action post haste.  Which is why disagreeing with myself is the healthiest thing I can do.  I suggest you make a habit out of it too.  If you want to live long enough to go through that whole life cycle thing.  Of course, if you don’t want that, then by all means, have your dissent free mind.  Your gravestone will read “His decisions were unanimous to his dying breath”.  I’ll bring some flowers for decoration.  And cake.  Black icing, of course.
   Because, for those of you who did not know, cake has restorative powers.  Oh no, nothing strong enough to raise the dead.  But it does wonders for the mourners.  Kind of perks them up and shows them that, even on the darkest day, there is a ray of sunshine.  It’s just a matter of finding it.  Or, if you have a flashlight, you could just turn that on.  It would probably be easier.  You also might want to consider an umbrella.  Those are always handy.  Good for scaring superstitious people too.
   My, isn’t this a strange post?  Life, death, and the mocking thereof.  Next thing you know, I’ll be harping on political issues.  Ha!  That’ll be the day.  Politics.  A very wise old man once had something to say about politics.  Bah!  And Humbug!  Yes, he did say that about Christmas too, but remember, he was a very old man (and wise).  I’m sure that at some point in his long and miserly life he said that about politics.  In fact, he probably said it about pretty much everything. 
   But hey, the Christmas season is fast approaching.  I’m sure I’ll have plenty to say on it as it comes steadily nearer, and quite likely some stuff after it’s gone.  Just remember, tis the season to be jolly, yo ho ho and a bottle o’ rum, and all that.
   Good golly, am I still here?  I thought I would be gone by now.  I must have disagreed with myself somewhere along the way and blown a hole in the space-time continuum.  I have no idea how that relates, but somehow it always does.  That darn continuum.  Why couldn’t it make itself out of some unbreakable material?  Then we wouldn’t have these constant problems with destructive fools, and mad men in boxes, always breaking through. 
   And then the world would be that much more boring.  So, basically, forget I ever wrote that last paragraph and go on with your lives as if nothing ever happened.  Good day.