John Smith and a Rock

   Welcome back to the intelligent portion of your weekly entertainment.  Today, I, John Smith, shall be your host. 
   Before I go any further in this post, let me clarify something.  John Smith really is an epically awesome name.  Most people would probably think “Aw, poor kid, stuck with a name like John Smith, must get teased a lot”.  But they have it all wrong.  With a name like that, that “poor kid” would be the one doing all the teasing.  For example, a conversation between two kids.
   Timmy:  “Hey there!  I’m Timmy.  What’s your name?”
   John: “John Smith.”
   Timmy: “Haha.  Okay, don’t tell me your name then.”
   John: “All right, I won’t.”
   Timmy: “…”
   John: “…”
   Timmy: “Your name isn’t really John Smith, is it?”
   John:  “Yup, sure is.  I’m undercover.”
   Timmy:  “Ooohhh!  I gotcha now.”
   Teacher: “John Smith to the front!”
   John to Timmy: “See?  I got everyone fooled.”
   Timmy: “Dude, that’s awesome.”

   See?  Awesome.  When I have a kid, his first name is gonna be John and his middle one is gonna be Smith.  You don’t need to know the last name because he’ll never use it anyway.  He’ll just be all like “The name’s John.  John Smith.”  and be totally untraceable!
   So now you know the reason behind the name.  I am John Smith.  John Smith is me.  And you’ll never really know who John Smith is. 
   Therefore I feel it fitting that the topic of the day’s post be something about anonymity.  Take, for instance, a rock.  Such a common, everyday sort of thing.  We see them all over the place.  What is the world, after all, but a big rock?  We take a rock, and we look at it, and we perceive, well, if we’re normal we will probably perceive nothing at all.  The rock will look like any other old rock.  Kind of, rockish.  However!  If we take another rock and compare the two, we will no doubt perceive the same amount of nothing that we did before.  Rocks that you get from the same place generally look like each other, because the general rule is that if the rocks are in the same place, they probably came from the same source.  This, of course, is not set in stone.  There are exceptions.  Such as when some crazy person takes a rock from its source and chucks it someplace else.  Then that rock may well be next to another rock that looks nothing like it.
   But this is immaterial in the long run.  The fact is that normal rocks, the ones we encounter on a daily basis, all look the same.  We cannot tell this rock from that rock unless we study those rocks with an amount of dedication that would be pointless in the end.  Because really, what’s being able to tell two rocks apart gonna do for you?  Not much at all, my friend, not much at all. 
   To come to the point of this (there was a point, right?), rocks are hard to tell apart.  So if one rock has a grudge against another rock, the rock with the grudge has no way to find the other rock.  It can entertain its grudge as long as it wants, but it’ll never be able to do anything with it.  Thus, rocks should not hold grudges.  And John Smith is a rock solid name.
   Till next time, I bid ye a fond farewell.