Zachary Langferd

   So, uh, hi?  I’m Zachary Langferd, and I guess I’m your host for today.  I have no idea how this happened, or why I’m even here, but here I am all the same, so I’m afraid you’ll have to suffer through it.  Unless you don’t.  That’s always an option too.  You could just change pages right now and go check facebook or something.  But I’ll try not to bore you to that extent.  I’m not saying I’ll be successful in that endeavor, just that I’ll try.
   Okay, right, blog post.  I was told nothing about this, you know, until just now.  They were all like, “oh hey, Zachary!  Write this post!”  And here I am.  With absolutely no idea as to what it is I’m doing.  I think someone said I should talk about myself.  That seemed kind of egotistical to me.  At the time.  Now it’s actually starting to sound pretty good.
   All right, I convinced myself to talk about myself.  The only thing you really need to know about me, though, is that I have these cool magical powers.  Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, unbelievable, right?  But I’m serious.  I can make things happen just by thinking about it.  It’s pretty awesome.  There’s whole books written about the junk I do.  Somewhere.  I think you have to talk to that one dude about it.  I’m pretty sure his name was Michael.  Not positive, but pretty sure.  From what I gather, he’s kind of the agent around here, dealing with all our stuff.  Strange sort of fellow, I thought.  Always saying and/or doing weird things at weird times. 
   Anyway, now that I’ve finished that very long and in depth talk about myself, I’m going to move on before I become too self-conscious.  I don’t know where I’m going, though.  I told those guys when they threw this at me that I wouldn’t know what to say, and I was absolutely correct, as you can see.  If I was like John I could just talk about a rock for the rest of the time.  But I can’t think of anything interesting about a rock.  I mean, you throw it, it goes up, then it comes back down.  Pretty simple and boring stuff there.  I guess that means John is simple and boring.  Poor guy.  Don’t tell him.
   Hey!  I thought of something I can talk about.  College.  Yup, that’s it.  Am I the only one that doesn’t get it?  I mean come on.  Why would you pay tens of thousands of dollars to do even more school?  I thought everyone was just screaming to finish their graduate year and be free.  Then they decide they want to go to college so they can go through another four years?  Only this time they’re going to pay for it?  And I’m not saying this because I’m a genius or anything.  It’s not my fault that my high school classes were college level.  They were high school to me.  The perks of being brilliant.  You should try it sometime.  Oh wait…you can’t.  Oops, my bad.  Sorry pal.  Geniuses just aren’t a dime a dozen.  We’re like pearls among a sea of rubble.  No offense to any rubble out there.  Just sayin’ it as it is.  Giving the ol’ ego a good back scratch, y’know.  It’s good to do that every now and then.  Keeps the self esteem high. 
   Okay, that’s it.  I’m done rambling on in a brilliantly stupid way.  It’s been more than enough for me.  This is Zachary Langferd, signing off.  And you’ll be lucky if you ever hear from me again.