Monday, September 24, 2012

Hide and Seek (or Not)

   Note from Owen Tucker: 
   Protocol 2
   …
   …
   Okay okay, I still don’t know what it is.  Sorry.  But I will.  Just wait.  I’m gonna figure out what protocol two is, for sure.  In the meantime, just keep reading, be happy, and don’t worry.

   “Okay, let’s try this again.  One…two…three…”
   This, my friends, was the seventh game of hide and seek.  And I swear, I have never had worse players. 
   Wilfred was plain banned from the game.  I mean come on, who can find a fly?  All he’d have to do is land on same and sit there.  In fact, he could probably buzz around the whole time and still no one would find him.
The kids didn’t seem to know how to hide, or even play the game for that matter.  They would hide in the most obvious places possible, a lot of which were objects that were only big enough to cover their faces.  It’s like they were going by the whole “if I can’t see him, he can’t see me” thing.  Which is just lies and slander, I’ll have you know.
   Ben, well Ben’s a freakin’ huge bear.  Not many places he can hide successfully, now are there?
   Man, whose dumb idea had this been anyway?
   Oh wait…don’t answer that.
   So, getting back to more pertinent things then whose idea this might have been, the seventh round of hide and seek finished up in all of five seconds, pretty much.  Found the two kids attempting to squeeze into the same spot behind a chair that wouldn’t have hidden even one of them, and Ben was trying to hide behind a door.  I knew this because I came upon a door that wasn’t totally closed, but when I pushed against it, it met spongy resistance and someone said ouch.
   “Well guys,” I said to them after I got them all back together. “We’re failing pretty hard here.”
   The kids hung their heads and Ben looked sad.  Well, he might’ve looked hungry, but I think it was sad.  Sad is just more theatrical and good stuff like that, wouldn’t you agree?
   “Why do we even need to find this, Narnia?” Ben asked.
   “Because Narnia’s awesome!” I replied. “Its got all sorts of cool stuff, like, like, like talking animals!”
   Ben gave me a flat stare.
   “Oh, right, yeah.  I guess I do have pretty much the most awesome thing about Narnia right here.  Man!  I can’t believe I just wasted that time playing hide and seek.”
   Ben shrugged. “Oh well.  Now what?”
   I sat down in a chair with a huff. “I dunno.”
   Dingdong.
   I sat up straight.  “What was that?”
   “Ah think et’s tha doorbell.”
   I was glad Wilfred replied there, because when he got banned from hide and seek I think it made him kind of mad. 
   I hopped to my feet. “Righto.  I shall sally forth to answer the door.  You all stay put.”
   It took me a while to get to the door, wrong turns and all that, but eventually I made it.  I opened the door and guess who it was?  Actually, considering how we last parted, it was kinda awkward.
   “Oh, uh, hi Bob.”
   He smiled, but it looked rather forced. “Owen Tucker.”
   I nodded. “Yup, that’s me.  What can I do for you?”
   “I come in, please?”
   I shrugged. “Yeah, why not?  But are you sure you wanna come in here?”
   He nodded, so I shrugged again and opened the door wide.  He walked in and looked around with a big smile on his face.
   “So, what can I do for you?” I asked, yet again.
   He turned to me with this big ol’ grin on his face and pulled out the strangest looking gun I’ve ever seen in my life.
   “You can die!”

   To be continued…

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